Rejection is Redirection with Mansee Singhi
1. What was your first experience with rejection, and how did it change your perspective at that point in your life?
She started by saying that she doesn’t have one defining experience of rejection. Instead, it appeared gradually through applications to performance platforms, dance festivals, grants, and performing arts organizations. At first, rejection left her feeling disheartened, sad, and angry, as though she had failed. Her instinct was to blame herself and wonder what she had done wrong. Rejection appeared at moments when she least expected it.
2. What do you physically feel in your body when you experience rejection?
As an artist, dancer, and performing artist, Mansee says she is especially aware of how emotions affect the body—whether she’s feeling rejection, acceptance, happiness, or sadness. She describes her chest and heart tightening, a heaviness in her stomach, her mind going blank, a choking sensation in her throat, and hot flashes. Mentally, everything becomes very quiet. She also has flashbacks and wonders what went wrong. She told me to be aware of these physical signals so you can reflect and bounce back quickly and not let the feeling of rejection take you down a rabbit hole.
3. How do you calm yourself when something doesn’t go your way?
She describes her process as layered. It begins with a quiet period when she retreats into her own “cocoon” and gives herself space to calm down. Then she patiently reflects on what went wrong. One of the best ways for her to do this is through riyaaz—a structured, disciplined practice she has followed for the past few years. It helps her revisit the problem, reflect on what happened, and consider how she can improve. Her practice gives her a reason to step back, calm herself, reflect and then return to her work.
4. What coping strategies do you use to help calm yourself?
Mansee talks with her family—which includes me—as well as peers and friends from similar backgrounds. She says that when rejection first happens, she may not be in the right frame of mind to process it. It can take her a few days to think things through. She also likes to analyze the situation more deeply.
5. Feedback is important when we don’t achieve a goal. How does it feel not to receive feedback, even when you’ve been consistent? How do you seek or reflect on feedback and begin the process of learning and improvement?
My mom says feedback is important because it helps you grow and improve your skills. It can also help you understand what may have been missing and what you could work on. However, she says feedback can be very limited in the arts. An artist—or someone applying to a particular platform—may receive feedback or none at all. This can leave them feeling dismissed, confused, or invisible, and can make it difficult to stay motivated. Mansee says she sometimes questions herself and her art. Over the years, she has developed a process for analyzing her applications using critical response theory (CRT), which she describes as a mindful approach. It involves examining both the objective and subjective aspects of the work, including whether its objective was achieved and what patterns or themes emerge. Afterward, the artist can reflect on how the application went and what they might learn from the experience.
6. When someone faces rejection, they may feel many emotions at once. How do you tell the difference between “This wasn’t the right opportunity for me” and “There was something I lacked”?
Mansee says rejection can carry deep meaning. When people think about missed opportunities, they may question their self-worth and begin doubting themselves, their artistry, or their values. This can bring disappointment about their journey. She believes that regular self-evaluation through practice can help people avoid focusing only on what they lacked. It’s important to be honest with yourself and your work. One idea Mansee keeps in mind is to reframe rejection as “not selected, but aligned.” This perspective helps her feel less cheated by the experience.
7. As an artist, do you experience rejection often? If so, how? Do you think rejection is an important part of growth?
She says she experiences rejection often as an artist. She sees it as more than simply not being selected for a platform or festival; it can also arise when she is unable to perform something in the way she wants to.
She tries to view these moments as opportunities to push herself toward activities she finds challenging. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t value validation from others. For example, while preparing a composition for an upcoming performance, she was learning another composition from a different teacher or guru. The first time she performed a movement, it was rejected because it wasn’t done the way her teacher wanted. The teacher changed the set, thinking Mansee might not be able to perform it. Even small moments like these can bring up feelings of rejection.Mansee believes rejection can teach you to become mentally stronger and focus on the process rather than just the goal. She sees it as an important part of growth because it helps build mental preparedness. She tries to focus on the process, especially because art is deeply personal and allows artists to express themselves clearly.
8. Does rejection look different from an athlete’s perspective than from an artist’s? If so, how?
Mansee thinks it does. An athlete’s performance can often be measured through scores, placements, or times, making the outcome more specific. Rejection in the arts, however, often depends on taste and is more subjective. Artists may also be judged on how they choose to portray movement.
We had a thoughtful discussion about this distinction: athletic rejection tends to be more quantitative, while artistic rejection is often more qualitative.
9.Should rejection be considered a failure? Please share your thoughts.
My mom's perspective is that rejection and failure are both philosophical concepts that can arise in anyone’s life. Failure may mean falling short of an adequate or satisfactory standard. For example, missing a point in a game could result in rejection and might be considered a failure. Rejection, however, can also mean “not this, not now, and not this time.”
I had an amazing time listening and discussing this very important topic with my mother. She talks about this very often as she goes through her journey but this was the first time we were able to go deep on to this topic. I wonder how my dad thinks about these same questions. Maybe, the next blog will be an interview with him and get his perspectives. I would like to thank my mom for taking time out to talk to me. I hope you all enjoy reading this blog as much as my mom loves dancing!
Please follow my mom’s instagram: https://www.instagram.com/manseefeetbeat/
I would really love to hear your feedback and comments. Please reach out to: me@hanikachhajer.com.
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